Women Would Give Up Sex For Six Months If….

by Linda Franklin

 

This economy has a lot of people giving up a lot of things – but why sex?  Isn’t sex one of life’s greatest pleasures that doesn’t come with a price tag attached?

A survey asked over 1,000 Americans what they would be willing to sacrifice to escape a month’s worth of bills.  Twenty one per cent of women said they would be willing to sacrifice sex for six months.  And, it’s not just women willing to give up a roll in the hay  -  sixteen per cent of the men said they would take this financial swap. 

Women said they would also be willing to give up their cell phones and other digital devices, but only fourteen per cent would be willing to sacrifice their use of the internet.  No sex – no cell phones – what is the world would be do for pleasure?  

When sacrifices like the ones offered in the survey are not available as a way to pay bills,  35 per cent of responders described themselves as getting creative by selling personal items or finding extra work.  Others would raise needed cash by getting a short-term loan, borrowing from their 401K, or foregoing their monthly payment all together.

What would you be willing to give up for a one month reprieve from paying your bills?

 Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Friend With Benefits – Equal Benefits For Both?

  Friend With Benefits – Equal Benefits For Both?

by Linda Franklin

Friends with benefits or friends with “benies” or friends for cut – it’s all the same thing.  In theory FWB’s is a mutual practical arrangement for satisfying each others sexual needs without the usual bothersome expectations of love, romance, or in most cases – monogamy.

The thing is, FWB’s don’t always provide equal benefits for both parties involved.  But, nevertheless these arrangements are becoming more popular.

Most women, not all, too often confuse sex with love.  Whether or not they admit it, we are suckers for emotional attachment.  It’s hard for us to keep our hearts under wraps when we are putting ourselves in such a vulnerable position.  Even the hard-hearted-hannahs do get their hearts broken.  It’s painful knowing we don’t rank high on our lover’s priority list. We are a convenience when time permits.

Here’s a couple of reasons people decide to switch from being just friends to FWB’s:

• both agree from there is no emotional attachment so there is no pie-in-the-sky expectations
• you have recently come out of a breakup or a divorce are ready to sex, but not a relationship

If you are considering the switch, ask yourself these tough questions:

• Is this FWB relationship just a rest stop on the way to something better?
• Is this relationship one that makes me happy?
• Is this all I can expect at my age?

I suppose the success of an FWB relationship depends completely on the two people involved and the ground rules they establish. For some it may be just what the doctor ordered, while for others just an another bump on an already hazardous emotional roller-coaster.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Does Cheating Ever Work Out?

By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

 

Back in my grandparents’ era, divorce was relatively uncommon. Women had fewer choices then and fewer financial resources. “Divorce” and “adultery” were dirty words only whispered.  Most wives looked the other way. There was not any No Fault Divorce on the books, so one had to prove adultery or cruelty, which brought even more whispers and shame from the community.

Flash forward to the ‘60’s and women’s struggle for civil rights, equal pay for equal work and sexual freedom. Increased financial resources meant women didn’t have to put up with infidelity any more; they could now take care of themselves.

Nowadays, almost as many married women as men are cheating. The “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” is alive…but is it well…for relationships, that is. Celebrities do it. Politicians do it. Now Middle America is doing it. But I have to believe it is taking its toll on relationships and perhaps people are not really focused on the gravity of the marriage commitment so much when they think,”If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get a divorce, or find someone on the side.”

I also have to believe, there are those of us out there who still believe in the integrity of the institution of marriage. Just this week, a young man whom I have known for a few years texted and asked me to have an affair with him. “Aren’t you married?” I asked him. “And don’t you have a young child with your wife?”

Here is the rest of the conversation:

 

Him: You know you want to see me. I really want to see you.

Me: There is no potential upside for me to see you.  And it would not be fair to your wife or your son. I am sorry you chose to marry a woman with whom you now say you don’t love and don’t feel sexually compatible, but you made that choice and now you have a child with her.

Him: Do you want to see me or do you just want to tear me apart?

Me: I don’t break up marriages or families and I don’t help married men cheat. I have integrity and ethics about that.

Him: OK. I get it. How about we meet just for coffee? We can be friends. Good friends.

Me: Frankly, I don’t associate with liars and cheaters.

Him: You know you want to see me. We had such great chemistry together once. Let’s see if it’s still there.

Me: There is no future for us either romantically or as friends. I hope you focus instead on your relationship with your wife and son.

Afterwards, it occurred to me if women didn’t cheat with married men (and vice versa) then the rate of infidelity would go drastically down.  People would think hard about making a marriage commitment and work harder at making better choices and working on the relationship.

 

Men cheat because we LET them cheat. Maybe wives don’t give them permission to do it, but it makes it easier if other women make ourselves available. I happen to believe I am worth more than being the “other woman.”  A LOT more. Think of it this way: Would YOU want some woman helping your husband or partner cheat on you? 

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Modesty Move Over - It's All About Shameless Self Promotion

by Linda Franklin 

 

 

Stand out from the crowd: Don’t be afraid to promote yourself if you want to be successful.

 

Women do understand that self-promotion is the key to success, but too many shy away from it. Why is that? Could it be the notion that it’s inherently unfeminine to champion yourself?

Not only are women bad at self-promotion, sometimes we do the exact opposite.

Peninah Thomson, chief executive of the Mentoring Foundation which aims to get more women round the boardroom table, says: ‘Women are more likely to tell you three good reasons why they’re not ready for promotion, whereas a man will give you ten good reasons why you should promote him, even if they are of equal ability.

It’s natural to thrive when you are reminded how good you are, but women by nature, are terribly self-critical.  We have to get over believing that self-promotion is not about puffing yourself up, it is merely stating the truth about your achievements with poise and confidence.

Women also need to assume authority rather than waiting to be given it.

Findings by the international research group Catalyst has found that self-promotion is the single most effective key to women’s success, not just in business but romance and friendship, too.

Those who did the most to make their achievements known advanced further, were more satisfied with their careers and got better pay rises than those who didn’t.

There are times when modesty is appropriate — giving credit to your team for example — and times when it isn’t. There are very few examples of senior executives who are soft-spoken introverts.’

So what can women do to boost their self-confidence — and consequently their willingness to self-promote — in the workplace?

First and foremost, it’s taking the time and having the endurance to get sufficient road under your tires. In other words, climbing the ladder demands resilience and hard work, not just telling yourself you’re a star.

Along the way you need to invest in yourself, by adding to your qualifications. And then there are things such as public speaking, which is essential today, and learning the skills of networking.  You can’t put a price on networking.  Today getting ahead is all about relationship building.  

Women have to learn not to take the safe road.  Success is all about taking risks.

Here’s a few tips for successfully blowing your own horn:

• Volunteer rather than waiting to be asked.
• Take a risk — such as working abroad for six months.
• Strike a balance between confidence and over-confidence.
• Be visible rather than a wall flower.
• Request a pay increase and come prepared with your list of accomplishments.  
• Focus on your successes rather than your failures.
• Network, network, network.
• Seek out a mentor, someone who will champion you. People love to give advice.
• Dress for the job you want.

Madonna Still HopesThere’s A Mr. Right – Like All Of UsPosted

by Linda Franklin

Last Friday night, Madonna, of all people, admitted to this - ”even if we are sophisticated, educated, evolved human beings, we still in the back of our minds think Mr Right is going to rush in and sweep us off our feet. ‘If you have half a brain, you know real love doesn’t exist, but I can see myself walking down the aisle again.”

Now, it could well be that the Material Girl was merely faking a belief in the idea of a great love because she was promoting her film W.E., depicting the affair between Edward and Mrs Simpson. But maybe not.

Madonna still feels, at 53,  that she is attractive and has a lot to give a man. She has conquered every career mountain it is possible to assail, and now wants to focus on relationship.  She has an amazing lifestyle but is beginning to realize it’s not as much fun doing it alone.

She has been wounded and betrayed by men, but is still willing to believe she has not yet met the right one. ‘We keep getting disappointed,’ she said. ‘But we still hold out hope that, next time, he will be The One.’

She isn’t the only woman who has that sense of longing, that hope that one day her knight in shining armor will come and sweep her away to the Magic Kingdom. 

But, does a great love really exist out here in the real world, away from the silver screen or between the pages of romantic fiction?  Why do we find it so hard to find the great love we’re still holding out for? Well, for one, we are perfectionists.

The thing that breaks apart many relationships is the desire for everything to be perfect – and there is no such thing.  How could we expect one human being to be the perfect man?  Always disappointed, like Madonna, too many of us never made relationships a priority. We believed that success, money, power and nice things would be enough. Unfortunately, we have discovered they aren’t.

But don’t give up hope – happiness isn’t that elusive.  It begins with refocusing your priority list.  When you are happy with yourself you won’t be as critical with the man in your life.. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Senior Moments at 45 – OMG!

by Linda Franklin

Where did I put my keys?  Why did I come into the kitchen?  Sound familiar?  We refer to this temporary memory loss as a senior moment, or at least I do.  And, scientists last week declared that our ability to remember everyday things such as names and numbers starts to go at the tender age of 45. OY!!!

But before you resign yourself to spending the second half of your life as a mental basket-case, there is positive scientific news, too. 

First the bad news….Last week’s study of more than 7,000 participants published online in the British Medical Journal, revealed how our power of recall starts to decline earlier than previously thought. Men and women suffered the same 3.6 per cent loss in memory power between the ages of 45 and 49. 

Processing speed in our brains slows down from our 20s onwards. ‘By mid-life, most of our brains show some fraying around the edges,’ says Barbara Strauch, author of The Secret Life Of The Grown-Up Brain.

Senior moment – or something worse?

In normal age-related memory loss, short-term recall is usually most affected. In moderation, this is quite healthy. It is also natural to worry that such mid-life forgetfulness is a harbinger of something more sinister, such as dementia.

The ‘aha!’ test can indicate if you should be concerned. If you forget a word temporarily, but feel that it is on the tip of your tongue, and finally recall it with a sense of ‘Aha! That’s it,’ then your reaction is healthy.

Growing older is not the only reason that our memory power may dwindle. Our ability to remember things can also be afflicted by our lifestyles. One common problem may be stress.  Isn’t it always?

Studies show that quick bursts of stressful excitement can actually benefit our memory — perhaps because our brains evolved to rally their best resources when faced with an immediate threat such as a tiger in the grass. But long-term chronic stress, the sort that can grind into us with the constant demands of busy modern life, can damage our brain’s ability form new memories. 

The good news…

Stresses and strains aside, modern life has good news for middle-aged brains. Neuroscientists have recently begun to discover how the mid-life brain, rather than giving up, instead reconfigures itself in order to cope.

As researchers at Duke University, North Carolina, and elsewhere have found, people in middle age begin to use two sides of their brains where previously only one might have been employed on a task. This is called bilateralisation.

How to protect your memory

Fortunately, health researchers believe there are ways in which we can significantly help to preserve our memory in later life.

Brain training: Just a little daily exercise,  could reduce the risk of the decline of your mental abilities, many studies have shown

Just taking a little more daily exercise could make a huge difference for millions of people. ‘More than 13 studies show that exercise can reduce risk by up to 45 per cent,’  ‘Evidence shows that the exercise does not have to be strenuous to have this benefit: it can involve active walking for around 30 minutes a day, three times a week.

And beware any claim about how any single food can boost your memory. Only last year, an important report in the Journal of the American Medical Association punctured the idea that the herbal supplement ginkgo biloba is a brain-saver. The study of more than 3,000 adults found that it made no difference at all.

 

This I find very interesting.  No matter how good we think our powers of memory are, they can all be fooled. Because, whatever our age, memory is a slippery thing that can be grossly misleading.

Researchers who study how people remember momentous events have discovered that although people will swear faithfully that they remember exactly what they were doing when they first heard news of the event, their memory is wrong in about a third of cases.

When we use our minds to recall a particular memory, we do not go back to the event itself, but rather to the last time we remembered it. Each recollection adds new flaws and reinforces previous flaws. Eventually, we settle on a version that we subsequently consider to be gospel truth.  So be careful about what you think you remember.  Memory, — including the false elements — solidifies and becomes your person’s constant ‘truth’.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Woman and Casual Sex

by Linda Franklin

When it comes to casual sex, are men and women really that different?  Most would argue that there is a huge difference. But, maybe there’s not.  Just maybe woman want sex as much as men do – however, they require different conditions for casual sex to be appealing.

Conservative values, and religion specifically has attempted to destroy sexual pleasure for both men and women – but it has come down hard on female pleasure. Women are whores if they are too sexual. Women are sluts if they explore their deepest sexual desires. These labels have become mental, emotional, and orgasmic prisons for many women – especially when it comes to “casual” sex.

For example, in a landmark study from the 1980’s, when random women were solicited by random men for casual sex – women turned the men down 100 percent of the time. Men on the other hand only turned down random solicitations by women 25 to 31 percent of the time. But, to be fair, the 1980’s were still the dark ages for female sexuality. It was believed that women were not naturally promiscuous. 

Psychologist Terri Conely explored this question in a groundbreaking 2011 study. She refined the question of casual sex for females by suggesting that a safe, physically attractive random lover had the potential to give her a positive sexual experience. Under these conditions, women were just as likely to accept sex with a random partner as were men.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

What Does Your Man Really Think Of You?

by Linda Franklin   

Call it protecting their fannies or just good old-fashioned common sense, there are some areas of married life where honesty is most definitely not the best policy.

Apparently, a third of all men would NEVER tell their wife that she looks fat.  That’s probably a very good idea if they want to keep the peace. Give them credit for being smart enough to know that just one small comment about your weight could fire a barrage of consequences that would make him a very unhappy camper.

We all know how sensitive a topic weight is, but it’s just one of many taboo topics where men should keep their opinions to themselves.

Five very brave husbands were asked to name the major complaint they have never dared to confront their wife about.  Here’s the list, but to me it’s just the tip of the iceberg.  Bravery only goes so far. 

You Can’t Cook – You Can’t Drive – I Don’t Like Your Hair – I Don’t Like The Way You Dress, and last but certainly by no means the least – You Are Turning Into Your Mother.

Yikes, any one of these could start a battle royal, especially the one about turning into your mother.  It’s interesting though that there wasn’t one complaint about sex in the top five. I find that highly unlikely since men always seem to have major issues around their bedroom activities, or lack of them.

Now that we’ve heard from the men, let’s turn the tables.  What would you say is the top complaint you have about your mate?  It’s hard to pinpoint only one isn’t it!  Tell me what drives you crazy and I will share them in my next posting.   

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

New Year Soul Satisfying Resolutions That Work

by Linda Franklin

Aren’t you tired of making New Years Resolutions that you never really intend to keep?   Aren’t you tired of going through the woulda-coulda-shoulda’s regret ritual?  Then stop torturing yourself and make 2012 the year you trade in your no results resolutions for ones that  actually allow you to soar.

Here’s the thing about most resolutions. When you don’t follow through with them you feel defeated and that’s not a good way to start out the New Year.  Feeling bad about yourself gets you stuck in bad energy and blocks off  good things from coming into your life. Of course, we don’t do it intentionally, but nevertheless, that’s what happens.

Ask yourself what would make you happy in 2012?  Be careful with your answer.  Dig deep and ask where your wish is coming from.  Is it from your surface ego or from the deep foundation of your soul?

From my experience I have found that satisfying my ego is a temporary fix, but satisfying the desires of my soul has a profound  and lasting result. The soul is a tough taskmaster and when it doesn’t get what it wants you always feel like something is missing.  No matter how much you achieve the good feeling drains away quickly leaving you feeling empty and unhappy. 

Here are 3 Soul Satisfying Resolutions that have worked for me:

1. Stop Trying to Mastermind Your Life  - When you give up the need to mastermind every twist and turn of your existence you can reach a deeper level – the place of feeling.  When you feel rather than think you are able to create a reality that moves you forward.  What a wonderful feeling to get unstuck!

2.  Trust Your Instincts -   You are on the right track despite the sense that life, as you know it, often seems to be derailed.  Often radical change is what is needed in the accelerated pace of the world we are living in. 

3. Recognize Your Potential - In this New Year gift yourself with the knowledge that you are unique and have unlimited potential. Give yourself permission to be who you are and do the things that feed your soul.

I know that if you practice these three steps 2012 will be the best year ever.  You can never control circumstances but you sure can manage how you respond to them.  That knowledge is life changing.

Happy New Year.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

Pregnancy After 45 – When Do You Hang Up The Baby Booties?

By Dr. Jennifer Landa

With the recent miscarriage suffered by TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” star, Michelle Duggar, the risks of pregnancy after age 45 have stepped into the limelight. These days, many celebrities are having children at older ages and making it seem easy and the norm, but such a feat is not without significant risks.

The risk of miscarriage in general is high – one in seven pregnancies end in miscarriage, and with the ability to detect pregnancies at very early stages with at-home pregnancy tests, the true union of sperm and egg often ends in a miscarriage 60 to 70 percent of the time. After the age of 40, this risk increases to one in three pregnancies and by age 45 – one in two pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.

A number of factors contribute to this high-risk – the first being lower levels of progesterone. As a woman ages her hormone levels naturally decline.  Low progesterone makes the pregnancy at extreme risk for miscarriage because this hormone is responsible for supporting the embryo and growing fetus. Without adequate levels, that support to the fetus is non-existent and the pregnancy fails.

Genetic abnormalities, due to the eggs of an older female being…well, older – also contribute to the riskiness of the pregnancy. In an older egg, the risk of mistakes when the DNA is replicated skyrockets, putting the pregnancy or, ultimately, the baby at-risk. In this case, pregnancies that do make it term have a greater risk of producing a child with special needs.  This is something women should take into serious consideration when planning pregnancy after the age of 40.

Not only is pregnancy after age 45 risky for the baby, it can be a challenging situation for the mother-to-be as well. Gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia are significant disease risks.  Both threaten the health and future health of the mother and the fetus. Pre-eclampsia is the number two cause of maternal death in the United States, primarily affecting pregnant women under 20 or over 40 years of age.

In the case of Michelle Duggar, her age was not her only risk factor – women who have had several children are at an even greater risk of premature delivery and postpartum bleeding.  After multiple deliveries, the uterus loses its muscle tone.  These muscles are essential to slowing and stopping bleeding after delivery – excessive bleeding following delivery can also lead to emergency surgery, hysterectomy or even – death.

Pregnancy is always a blessing and many women might argue that it is worth every risk to bear their own child, however, if you carefully examine the risks – it is not just the health of the mother that is affected – the baby’s entire life could be altered.  If you are planning to or do become pregnant at an older age, generally after age 35, talk to your doctor to minimize risks associated with your pregnancy.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.