Cougar Asking Why Am I Alone?

The women in my cougar community often ask themselves why am I alone?  Of course every woman is unique so the reasons vary.  But, I would have to say the major reason for being alone is, "I choose to be". 

I recently received an email from one of the members in The Real Cougar Woman Club.  She shared her "alone" story with me. Now I will share it with you in her own words.   

Being a single parent raising two kids on my own with no help has been tough.  Now that my kids are grown and are away for the summer I’ve been forced to deal with the issues that I have been running from or covering up for so long.

I believe that we all make choices in life.  I happened to always choose the wrong type of men.  They guys were physically attractive on the outside, but with no substance on the inside.  They were just empty, hollow and emotionally unavailable.

After giving my choices some very serious thought, I came to realize that I was drawn to the wrong type of men because I had a father who was never there for me.  I felt invisible.  When I got older I used men in an attempt to validate myself.  Of course that was impossible because I hadn't  yet learned how to validate myself.

Now that I’m older and wiser I know I deserve better and won’t settle for less than God's best.  I’ve come to realize that I really don’t need a man to make me feel good about myself.  Why would I?  I am an independent, strong, attractive woman in the prime of her life.  I am a Real Cougar.

I could have a man in my life now  but I am choosing not to.  I just turned 44 years old and Idon’t want to waste my valuable time on the wrong things or on the wrong people. 

 

Will be there room for a man in my life someday?  Yes, but on my terms.  It's very important  that I have people who celebrate who I am.  I am done with people who try and bring me down to their level or diminish the woman I was created to be.

 

Ladies, life too short to waste on the wrong person.

 

Thanks Corazon for your story.

Sexual Performance Linked to Obesity

This could do it.  This could get your man to start watching what he eats and maybe even get him to go the gym.  A man's pride in his sexual performance may help the fight against increasing obesity, according to internationally regarded expert on obesity, men's health and aging Professor Gary Wittert.

"Blood vessels to the heart are affected by obesity but similar effects occur with the blood vessels to the penis resulting in erectile dysfunction and poor urinary tract function.

Professor Wittert is from Australia and says, "Australian men care about erection problems, perhaps more so than possible cardiovascular disease. This may present an opportunity to improve communication about the benefits of weight loss." 

Okay ladies now you have a more persuasive argument to get your guy in good shape.

Mid-Life Is The Toughest Time For Most Of Us

Using data on 2 million people, from 80 nations, researchers from the University of Warwick and Dartmouth College have found an extraordinarily consistent international pattern in depression and happiness levels.  For most of us middle age is the time when we are the most vulnerable.  I suppose that's why so many go through the turbulence of mid-life crisis.

Their paper entitled "Is Well-being U-Shaped over the Life Cycle?" is to be published shortly in Social Science & Medicine. The researchers found happiness levels followed a U shaped curve, with happiness higher towards the start and end of our lives and leaving us most miserable in middle age. Many previous studies of the life-course had suggested that psychological well-being stayed relatively flat and consistent as we aged.

Starbucks: How It Became A Spiritual Retreat For Michael Gill

I had to run to my computer and write this blog after watching Michael GIll on CBS's Sunday Morning program. 

When I finished reading Eat Pray Love I thought I had reached the top of the mountain when it came to inspirational stories.  But, today Michael Gill took me to new heights.  I haven't read the book yet, but have no doubt whatsoever, that Michael was on a path that the universe had in store for him all along. A path we will all go down as part of our own spiritual journey.

What I heard this morning was how an affluent man fell from grace.  And, how that experience opened his heart, allowing him to experience a new and profound kind of joy.

Happiness: What Is It Anyway?

What does it mean to be happy?  Maybe if we understood what happy means, perhaps a one-size-fits-all template, it would be easier to comprehend what it takes to grab onto and hold onto happiness.

It seems to me that most people have far more questions about achieving happiness than they have answers. For instance, is happy a underlying state of well being that is always with us, or, does it come and go with every event every day?  Why is it that people who have every right to be unhappy seem happier than those of us who are much more fortunate?  What is it that makes someone look at their glass as always half full while others are stuck on empty?  We all want to connect with the magic of happiness, but just how badly?  How do we get ourselves to always see the bright side, no matter what?

Real Cougars: They're Not Who You Think They Are

This Friday I was asked to appear on Fox's Good Day New York to talk about Cougars.  What I am going to introduce on the show is the "Real Cougar".  I feel it's necesary because the image of a "Cougar" that is currently being portrayed, isn't who she is at all.  In fact,I am starting a campaign to take the negative out of "Cougar" and give us a new image, using my "Real Cougar" moniker.

Real Cougars are women who are smart, capable, confident, fit, beautiful, sexy, accomplished and secure.  The last thing they have time to do is go out late at night skulking after young men to pounce on.  That image is just so ridiculous, it makes me laugh. Yes, it's true Real Cougar women are attracting younger men, but they are not doing the pursuing.  We don't have to.  But, if we choose to go down that road, a younger man could be the beautiful red bow on an already expertly wrapped package.  A package that has taken years to perfect. The tag "Real Cougar" should be worn proudly.  It is the core of what we have worked so hard to achieve.   

Age Of Love: Kittens vs Cougars

Since I first started to write about the cougars, all hell has broken loose. "Age of Love" a dating competition like "The Bachelor" is pitting Cougars, ranging in age from 39 to 48, against Kittens, all in their 20's. The older women compete with the younger ones for the affections of a 30-year old Australian tennis player.

On "Saving Grace", a TNT series beginning this month, Holly Hunter will play an Oklahoma sheriff with a ravenous appetite for cigarettes, booze and sex with younger men.  Glenn Close also returns to TV in July staring in "Damages on FX.  These series are tapping into baby boomers' who refuse to sit back and let a younger generation take over. 

Unilever: Dove Campaign Resuscitating The Boomer Mystique

I know I keep coming back to Unilever and their Dove Pro Age Campaign, but I can't help it.  It makes me smile.  It confirms everything I believe in.  It proves that boomer women have still got what it takes. We are daring, we are confident, we are beautiful.  We are women - hear us roar!

On May 28th Advertising Age, the holy grail for the ad business, did a great article on Unilever.  Click here. If you don't have time to read the whole thing here's a brief summary.

Sexy- Have we still got what it takes?

Have you ever walked down the street and wondered if you still got what it takes to turn a head or two?  I know I have.  Sometimes I wonder how a man younger sees me.  By younger I don't mean jail bait but maybe a guy 40.  Wow, did you ever believe the day would come when you thought 40 is young?  Well anyhow, in their eyes am I sexy or simply over the hill?  I know, I know,  it only matters how you see yourself, but I'll bet you'd be curious to know if some cute guy thinks your smokin'.

I think it's important to look as good as you can. No, don't try to look 25  that's crazy, but how about a cool, sexy and hip 45? Too often, after 50,men and women think its OK to let themselves go. The other day I was talking to a man at a friend's birthday party. He was there with his wife and I guess both were in the mid 60's.  He told me that sometimes when he looks over at his wife in bed he doesn't recognize her.  It's like sleeping with a stranger.  That's not good. In his eyes she has lost her youth, her energy, and her sex appeal.  He didn't say it, but I'd guess, that makes him feel old too.  She stopped trying to do her best and it's affecting their intimacy. He'll probably never tell her what he told me, but our conversation stays fresh in my mind.

Can We Choose How We Age?

Can we choose how we age.  You bet we can.  High-Yield Living is all about choice.

I believe there is nothing sexier than a man or woman who is well dressed, well groomed, vibrant, fun to be with and oozing confidence. Can a boomer be all that?  Yes, it's the new aging paradigm.   All it takes is determination, effort and lots of support..

Age is just a number - but that number plays games with our minds.  We have to be aware of what we're thinking all the time.  Thoughts become words, words become actions and actions become our reality.  If we think we're old we are.  Before I turned 50 - I felt 65.  My thoughts were stuck on aging.  So many things were changing all at once.  Yes, some of those changes were physical,like the onset of menopause, but others were the result of me thinking I was on a downhill slope.