Cougars Love Independence Day!

Cougars love Independence Day.  That's because we are independent women who love our freedom and the opportunity to live in a country where we have a voice.  So whatever you are planning this July 4th have a B L A S T. 

Here's something we can all do together this weekend.  Spend a few minutes sending out some positive energy to all the women around the world who are not as fortunate as we are.  Women who are fighting for the independence and equality that too often we take for granted.  Sound like a good idea?

I want to thank everyone who reads this blog for your continued support. Together we are showing the world that Real Cougars are an important force to be reckoned with.  We still have a long way to go but we are making progress.  We will prevail!

So, eat, drink and be merry and I'll speak with you next week.   

Mark Sanford Heading For Divorce Court?

Is Governor Mark Sanford heading for divorce court?  Will his wife say enough is enough?  The speculation over the future of their marriage, after his recently disclosed affair is likely to die off well before the family’s pain. So, too, will the unsolicited lectures — about his hypocrisy, about her obligations, about the dire state of marriage in general.

Innfidelity is one of the most common reasons people divorce.  But surveys find the majority of people who discover a cheating spouse remain married to that person for years afterward. Many millions more shrug off, or work through, strong suspicions or evidence of infidelity. And recent trends in marriage suggest that the institution itself has become more resilient in recent years, not less so.

Temptation stalks even close marriages, as researchers have had no trouble documenting it. In one survey, psychologists at the University of Vermont asked 349 men and women in committed relationships about sexual fantasies. Fully 98 percent of the men and 80 percent of the women reported having imagined a sexual encounter with someone other than their partner at least once in the previous two months. The longer couples were together, the more likely both partners were to report such fantasies.

And it’s worth noting that most couples who have been publicly humiliated — the Clintons, the Spitzers, the Edwardses — have so far stayed together.

In a statement last week, Jenny Sanford, Governor Sanford’s wife, said that she had recently asked her husband to leave the house after discovering the affair. She also said that she still believes their relationship can be repaired.

To read more about the institution of marriage read yesterday's New York Times article "Marriage Stands Up For Itself".

Farrah and Michael - Two Icons Exit Together

Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson made their final exit yesterday.  Farrah had courage, she had strength, and she had faith. And now she has peace.  Michael, King of Pop was a legend with immense talent.  But, unfortunately his gifts came with a hefty pricetag - his deep seeded pain that followed his everywhere.    

"I will miss Farrah every day," says Kate Jackson. "She was a selfless person who loved her family and friends with all her heart, and what a big heart it was. Farrah showed immense courage and grace throughout her illness and was an inspiration to those around her. When I think of Farrah I will remember her kindness, her cutting dry wit and, of course, her beautiful smile."

"I can't stop crying over the sad news," Madonna says. "I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless."

Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II.

Farrah is survived by her son Redmond O'Neal.

 

Mark Sanford Mystery Solved - It's All About Sex Stupid

The great mystery has been solved and surprise, surprise -  it's all about sex.  Mark Sanford, South Carolina's chief exec. is now back home admitting he's been a very bad boy. After disappearing for five days on an "adventure trip," or so he told his staff, Sanford confessed to having an affair.  No wonder he had such a great tan - he was in Argentina. Is it me or doesn't that seem like an awfully long way to go for a roll in the hay?

At yesterday's press conference he apologized to his wife, Jenny, his four sons, his "parents-in-laws", his staff and the rest of the country.

"As much as I did talk about going to the Appalachian Trail, that  wasn't  where I ended up," he drawled.  No. With his four kids at home and his wife managing his campaigns, Sanford developed a relationship with a "dear, dear friend from Argentina." A married lady he'd known for eight years.

Can you just imagine what would be going on if  Mark was Margaret, a female governor who did the same thing?  With men it's still more accepted.  It's just what men do.  Sanford even turned to God to defend him saying, "God's law is designed "to protect people from themselves . . . It's not a morally rigid list of do's and don'ts just for the heck of do's and don'ts."  Oh pleez!!

Our politicians sure do know how to serve the people don't they.  We had McGreevey who hid the fact he was gay.  Then there was Spitzer and his ladies of the evening and now Stanford who wins a special spot in the Horny Governors Hall of Fame.

Is it totally unrealistic to expect people to honor their rwedding vows?  It sure looks that way.  Maybe marriage isn't everything it's cracked up to be and we have to establish a whole new set of rules.  

Michelle Obama's Clothes Closet - Why Do We Care?

I don't want to be the voice of doom and gloom but it's not easy to ignore what's going on in our country.  Lately I only watch the news once a day but that's enough to see that our economy is in deep trouble.  The Dow Jones keeps hitting new lows and the bailouts - well they just keep coming.  So, why in the world with everything that's going on, do we care what Michelle Obama is wearing?  Why are we debating whether or not she is showing too much arm?   

I admit, I am in a grumpy mood today, but give me a break. Give us women credit for caring more about our financial futures than the latest dress our first lady is wearing.  Even the Huffington Post is taking a poll to see how the American people are feeling about this sleeveless controversy.  

So let me ask you - do you really care what Michelle is wearing today? Honestly, aren't you more focused on your job, your IRA and being able to make your monthly mortgage payments?  I sure as hell hope so.   

Obama Promises Changes - So Does The Real Cougar Woman

I think it's safe to say we are all looking for change in 2009.  Isn't that why Obama was elected? The world is changing right before our eyes and what we trusted to be standard operating procedure, no longer works.

And, that  change includes the role of a woman.  Going forward what's acceptable for men will be okay for women too.   That includes not wanting to get married, not wanting children, being financially independent ,and yes, even having relationships with younger men.

The women I talk to are tired are putting everybody else's wishes before their own.  It's old - i'ts tired and we're not going to take it anymore.  We have been brainwashed to think that if we go after what we want then we're selfish.  That's just not true!  The people who constantly keep taking are the selfish ones.  Women are now waking up to that fact.

The Real Cougar Woman is strong, independent, sexy and proud to be over 40.  She is the new benchmark.  She is changing how women are perceived all over the world.  She is not concerned what other people think.  She is trusting her instincts -  knowing what's best for her. 

The Real Cougar Woman realizes that life isn't a downward spiral at 45 or 55 or even 65.  She's excited because each year presents a new challenge and new opportunity.  It's not a time where dreams die - it's a time when dreams are reborn.  And, if part of that dreams includes being with a younger man - well then, that's just fine with her.  She is simply a fabulous female ready to explore all of her choices.

Change is not coming - it's already here.   It's the perfect time for women and The Real Cougars couldn't be more excited.  We say - "bring it on".     

Which Sex Is Suffering More In This Financial Crisis?

This horrible financial crisis is affecting all of us in some way or another.  It seems every day there is a new after shock that has us quaking in our boots.  This week it's Bernard Madoff's $50 billion dollar ponzi scheme.  After months and months of being bombarded by bad news it's natural for it to have an effect on your psyche.  But, which sex is experiencing the worst case of psychological damage?

If you guessed the men, then you are right.  Of course, we all have the right to feel anxious - it's normal.  But something more than anxiety if emerging with the male population.  It's an overwhelming erosion of self confidence.  This is not the same as clinicial depression.  It's believing success and accomplishment is intimately tied to your financial status.  More and more men aren't able to feel confident or good about themselves without the almighty dollar dictating their value.

Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, reports his male patients are telling him they used to see themselves as masters of the universe.  Now the present circumstances have cut them down to size.  Dr. Friedman has plenty of female patients who work in finance at high levels, but none of them has had this kind of psychological reaction.  He is now asking himself - do men rely disproportionately more on their work for their self-esteem than women do? Or are they just more vulnerable to the inevitable narcissistic injury that comes with performing poorly or losing one’s job? 

Personally, I think this erosion in self confidence has more to do with how much of your identity is attached to what you do, not your sex.  If money and business are the dominant forces in a women's life, she is more likely to fall apart when it is taken away.  I have experienced the loss of a business identity and it took years to recover.  I have talked to hundreds of other women and I can assure you I don't stand alone in that feeling.  All of us agree it takes hard work to regain faith in yourself and move ahead after a crisis of confidence.

Dr. Friedman's story appeared in Tuesday's New York Times to read it click here. 

Turning Fear Into Opportunity!

Ever wonder how fear effects our brain?  Probably not.  But Gregory Burns, MD, PhD who directs the department of Neuropolicy at Emory University decided to find out.  Why?  Because he said everybody he knows is scared.  Gregory, welcome to the club. Today's fears are centered around work and everything associated with money.  So, I guess that's almost everything.  We are caught in a spiral where fear is overtaking our brain.  That makes it impossible to concentrate on anything but saving our skin and getting out of this mess intact.  Burns says, "ultimately, no good can come for this type of decision-making".

This is the most severe economic downturn we have ever experienced.  Everything we thought was secure really isn't. So Burns set up an experiment.  He devised a Skinner Box for humans. A Skinner Box is technically a  conditioning chamber — in other words, a cage that automatically trains a laboratory animal to associate flashing lights and levers with rewards and punishments. It doesn’t take long for a rat to figure out which light goes with the shock and which goes with the food pellet. All animals, including we primates, are good at making these associations. Pretty soon, we don’t even need the light — the mere sight of the cage can send some of us into a state of apoplexy.

Okay, I know this is deep and I'm no scientist, but this article in yeserday's Business Section of The New York Times confirmed what I have always known in my gut - fear attracts more fear. Berns says "a few pearls of wisdom have emerged about the fear system of the human brain and how to keep it from short-circuiting sound decision-making".

Right now there are incredible opportunities to do things differently. If you wait for money to start flowing again, the opportunities will have passed.  Listen to the stories from successful people and you will hear they were afraid but did it anyway.  This is something I know for sure - you must take a calculated risk to get ahead. 

If you could use some help to Turn Fear Into Opportunity, The Real Cougar Woman's January TeleWorkshop will show you how to make the shift.  This shift in thinking will change your life.  To read more about it click here.

Pyschics The New Investment Advisors

When people get scared they are more likely to run to unconventional sources to find answers about their future. And right now, to say we are treading in unchartered waters is an understatement.

What we thought was secure - isn't anymore.  Our jobs, our homes, our bank accounts, our investments, 401k's, IRA's have all been compromised and we're not sure what's coming next. The government is doing it's best to calm us down, by lending enormous amounts of money to stabilize our economic system.  Hopefully that will ease credit and enable businesses to borrow the money they need to keep their doors open. 

But, nevertheless people are afraid and when they happens they start asking themselves the what if question.  What if I don't have enough to make it through? And, just to illustrate that's what is going on, they are looking for advice from their psychics.

Maria Napoli, a Manhattan astrologer whose clientele includes a growing circle of the rich and famous in the worlds of fashion, art and finance, observed that many of her clients were fretting about a global picture, not just their careers. “They are asking: ‘Where are we headed as a country? Are we entering a depression?’ Mostly they are after a little peace of mind.

“When you don’t know what to expect of a job interview or a business partnership,” said Gita V. Johar, a professor of at the Columbia University Business School, “that is when you’re most likely to turn to a psychic.”

Professor Johar, whose specialty is studying the effects of superstition on consumer behavior, suggested that when your portfolio is shrinking or your business is tanking, talking to a soothsayer may be “one way of feeling in control.” She needed no crystal ball herself to predict that “given the uncertainty of the economy, psychics are going to see an increase in business.”

When I read this story in the New York Times, I found it fascinating, but not surprising.  To read more from the original article click here.

Madonna Calls Ritchie Out - Is A-Rod Next At Bat?

Madonna's motto "the show must go one".  The same day she announced the end to her seven-and-a-half year marriage she performed her Sticky and Sweet Show in Boston.

The split could end up costing the superstar singer up to half her $520 million fortune.  Sources say the divorce was announced  because the couple couldn't bear to pretend they were happily married a minute longer. 

Reports of trouble in paradise started in July, when Alex Rodriguez 34, was paying Madonna 50, secret late-night visits at her Upper West Side apartment.  It was soon after that Cynthia A-Rod's wife, filed for divorce. She accused him of having an "affair of the heart" with Madonna, and sexual flings with other women.

Apparently "The Cougar and the Yankee"  have talked about taking their relationship to another level by going into business together.  They are both obsessed with fitness and were considering opening a chain of fitness clubs. 

And, I've heard there was no pre-nup.  What were they thinking?