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8 posts from March 2012

March 30, 2012

Leaving The Relationship First - Someone Has To

 By: Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

Leaving The Relationship First - Someone Has To Dr. Fayr Barkley The Real Cougar WomanThe more I listen to people, the more I learn. In fact, I learn more by listening than I do by talking. No surprise there. But what is surprising is that I hear a common refrain from both men and women about leaving a relationship.They want to leave but are waiting for the other person to make the first move.

They are actually hoping the other will make some grand, unforgivable relationship faux pas so they can justify breaking up, as opposed to just initiating “the talk” with their partner and calling it quits.

Another thing I hear people doing is picking ridiculous fights with their partner or purposely doing something to annoy or tick the other person off. They are provoking conflict so they can justify a break up and blame it on the other person or at the very least absolve them from any “guilt” about leaving. This almost always results in ill will and damaged egos and bruised feelings. You don’t need to justify why you want out. The fact that you want out is justification enough.

If breaking up is what someone truly wants to do, then just do it. Don’t cause a rift. Don’t pick a fight. Don’t blame, shame or guilt the other person. Do the break up cleanly, with integrity and by taking the high road. You don’t owe anyone an explanation beyond,”This just no longer works for me and I am moving on with my life. I wish you the best.”

If you aren’t happy with your relationship and you know there is no potential for a future with your partner, you are doing both of you a favor by moving on. Time is a precious commodity we can’t afford to waste and we can never get it back. Empower yourself by moving forward and find the love you are looking for. Learn from your current situation by making a fair and impartial assessment of the dynamics that did and did not work and improve yourself to attract what it is you truly want.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 26, 2012

Mad Men Great on TV - Not In Real Life

   by Linda Franklin

 
Mad Men Era - Lets Not Go Back There Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman
Mad Men is back and bigger than ever.  That show illustrates how political correctness was not even a small concern for the advertising salesmen of Madison Avenue when they successfully pitched their client’s brand campaigns.

The ads from the 1960s were breathtakingly unconcerned with sexism as they appealed to men’s macho side, using images of subservient women as a way to sell everything from wrinkle-free trousers to boldly patterned neckties.

The popularity of Mad Men has kept many hooked on an era when drinks were strong, cigarettes popular…and women kept firmly in their place.

In the current political climate it’s entirely possible that women’s rights are heading back to where they were in the 60′s.  Let’s stand together so that doesn’t happen.  We have come too far and worked too hard to go backwards.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 23, 2012

Orgasms In The Gym! Workouts Can Be Fun

by Linda Franklin

Orgasms In The Gym! Workouts Can Be Fun Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanHere’s a great incentive to get off your ass and get to the gym.  Women are having orgasms while lifting weights or during spinning class, even if sex was the last things on their minds.

Although this was first reported in 1953, ‘little is known about exercise-induced orgasms,’ according to scientists from Indiana University.

To fill in the gap researcher Debby Herbenick and her team surveyed hundreds of women aged from 18 to 63 who said they had experienced exercise-induced orgasm or sexual pleasure at the gym.

This opens up a whole new world of possibilities for the big “O”.  How can I orgasm – let me count the ways.

Here are the exercises that are most likely to be associated with female orgasms:

Abdominal exercises: 51.4%

Weight lifting: 26.5%

Yoga:  20%

Cycling: 15.8%

Running: 13.2%

Walking/hiking: 9.6%

A fifth of those who experienced orgasms said they had no control over the experience and most of the women felt self-conscious about it.  But, it only took five weeks to recruit the 370 women who experienced the Gym Orgasm, so exercise induced orgasms aren’t really that rare.

I go to the gym twice a week, and have been for years.  I have never once experienced orgasm while exercising.  Maybe I have to try harder.  I sure would enjoy working out more if I could look forward to that added bonus.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 20, 2012

Women’s Sexual Rights – America’s Going Backwards

  by Linda Franklin

Women's Sexual Rights in America A Backward Step Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanIn 2012 the spotlight is once again focused on women’s rights. Is all the news out there bad or  is there a bright side?  You decide.
•Mitt Romney now says he doesn’t want to close Planned Parenthood, just strip it of federal money.

•A proposed new law in Arizona would require women to prove they’re taking birth control for non-sexual reasons before they get reimbursed through their health plan hasn’t passed … yet.

•Virginia and Texas now require women to have ultrasounds before they can obtain an abortion. 

Let’s face it the United States has become a scary place for sexually active women.  Even Hillary Clinton, has been forced to turn her attention to gender abuses in our backyard. Addressing the Women in the World Summit last week, she marveled that extremists who strive to control women aren’t confined to foreign lands.

“It is hard to believe that even here at home, we have to stand up for women’s rights and reject efforts to marginalize any one of us, because America needs to set an example for the entire world,” she said.

But a crackdown on women’s rights, once mainly confined to the crazy Southern states, is now under way all over the place, with many locales vying for the “State That Can Best Demean Women”. Idaho, for example, has proposed an ultrasound bill that would effectively trick women into visiting those creepy crisis pregnancy centers that try to shock them out of having abortions. Under the proposed law, a woman would have to have an ultrasound before terminating a pregnancy. But she’d be provided with a list of places that provide them for free, and guess where they are? Yup, those deceptive organizations that harass pregnant women.

Elsewhere, Kansas is considering a provision of a bill that would protect a doctor who discovers that a baby will be born with a devastating condition and withholds that information from his patient. So if the bill passes, an anti-abortion doctor could lie about the results of blood tests and ultrasounds. God forbid that a woman be trusted with decisions about her future.

This national Father-Knows-Best flashback is inspired by the Rev. Santorum, and its consequences go beyond proposed legislation and laws. It’s created an atmosphere in which even birth control advocates now frame the matter as a health issue, rather than admit that women like to have sex, just as men do. Otherwise, they’re taking the Slut Pill. 

Many women enjoy sex, and they sometimes enjoy sex with different partners, just as men do. Many use some form of birth control. This does not make them sluts. It makes them responsible. Sex without consequences is what women fought for.

That’s why any effort to determine which women “deserve” birth control is dangerous. All women do. And it’s absolutely crazy that this point must be made in 2012, and that the systematic dismantling of women’s rights continues to unfold in broad daylight.

Let’s hope we can soon look back on these dark days with a shudder, and shake our heads at the inanity.

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 18, 2012

Bras That Fit in 5 Steps – Throw Away The Tape Measure

by Linda Franklin

Perfect Fitting Bra - Throw Away The Tape Measure Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanWearing the wrong bra can be miserable.  Not only does it pinch and pull it does absolutely nothing to flatter your figure.  Eight out of ten women are wearing badly-fitted bras.  Why is it so difficult to find the right one?  Apparently, the answer to that questions is the traditional method of measuring bust size is outdated.  Using a tape measure is a waste of time because women’s bodies have changed dramatically since the system was invented in the 1930s. 

The traditional method of bra-fitting, still used by most stores, involves two measurements: one from under the bust and around the ribcage, and the other from around the fullest part of the bust.

The first measurement gives the back size in inches, and the difference between the two measurements determines cup size (A denotes a difference of one inch, B of two inches and so on).

But according to a new study, this method is hopelessly out of date because it was designed to go only up to a D-cup. These days women go way beyond D’s and most wear their bras too loose on the back and too small in the cup. 80 per cent of the support given by a bra comes from the band around the middle — not the straps or the cup — and if it’s loose, you are not getting enough support.

The secret to finding the perfect fit is to take a five-step approach: assessing the length of the straps, the shape of the underwire, how well the back fits, how well the cup fits and whether the front band is in contact with the breastbone.

FIVE STEPS TO A PERFECT FIT

  1. STRAP LENGTH: You don’t need to adjust your straps to the same length on each side. Many of us have sloping shoulders, perhaps from carrying bags around on one side for years, and so it could be that one strap needs to be tighter than the other.
  2. UNDERWIRE SHAPE: If you press on the underwire of your bra, it should press on bone, not breast tissue. The underwire should sit on your ribcage, encasing your breasts but not digging into them.
  3. BACK FIT: You should just be able to fit two fingers under the band. It should feel snug — perhaps tighter than you’re used to, but not uncomfortable. If it rides up in the middle of your back, it’s too big and won’t give you enough support.
  4. CUP FIT: Nine times out of ten, women are wearing too small a cup size. You should not have any breast tissue spilling out the top of the cup — known as ‘double boob’. The average woman is now a D-cup, yet most think they are a B-cup.
  5. FRONT BAND: The middle should sit flat against the breastbone. If it’s pulling away, leaving a gap between the middle of the bra and the skin, the cup size is too small.

Do your girls a favor and take this guide with you the next time you go bra shopping.  

 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 14, 2012

Black Women Happier In Their Own Skin

 

by Linda Franklin

Black Women Happier In Their Own Skin Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanBlack women are happier with their bodies than white women - even if they weigh more, well that’s what a new study says. Two-thirds of overweight black women said they had high self-esteem, compared to only 41 per cent of thin or average-sized white women.  White women could learn a thing or two from this because we are never satisfied with our bodies and go to great lengths to change them.

According to the research commissioned by the Washington Post white women focus too much on what nature has given them, while black women have a ‘deeper’ appreciation of beauty.

Flat chests, skinny midriffs and size zero are boyish.  Black women say, “we’re likely to be built generously and we’re not ashamed to celebrate our curves.”  ‘We develop our own ideas about what it means to look good, rather than relying on magazines and television shows to tell us’.  The survey found, that black women do not aspire to unfeasible skinniness when they lose weight. Instead they look to emulate Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson and Michelle Obama, all of whom are muscular and curvy.

Nothing’s perfect – and the survey also brought out this important point.  Black women are more prone to diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure because they are more likely to be obese than white women. 
 
The bottom line is be happy with the skin you’re in.  You have one miraculous body so treat it well and keep it healthy.  Pay attention to how you feel and know that you attract good things from a place of feeling good.
 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

 

March 08, 2012

Cheating Spouse? – 9 Giveaway Signs

  by Linda Franklin

Cheating Spouse? - 9 Giveaway Signs Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanDid you ever have that gut feeling that’s telling you your spouse is up to no good. That maybe he has got something going on the side.  That nauseating feeling of betrayal is so horrible that you may consciously choose not to pay attention to the warning signs.  Knowing for sure can get ugly and your life could be turned upside down.  But wait a minute….

Don’t you owe it to yourself to know the truth?  Your happiness, your self-esteem, your financial future are on the line here.  It’s up to you to protect yourself.  If you don’t know the telltale signs of a cheating spouse, these nine signs provide pretty conclusive proof.

1. The sex

Your hubbie wants more sex. His libido is over stimulated, but it’s just sex – there is no emotion attached.  Of course, the other side of that coin is that he doesn’t want sex at all.

2. His Appearance

A cheating husband will make sure his hair looks right, and will start taking more interest going to the gym. (He can even use that time to have that secret rendesvous..who knows).

3. More Time Away From Home

Work obligations are demanding more of his time.  And, add to that, more out-of-town tmeetings.

4. He takes up a time-consuming hobby that doesn’t involve you

This regular hobby can include the gym (if you can call that health hobby), the library, jogging or some kind of sport. The less you are interested in it, the more chance of him taking it.

5. His cell phone has become his constant companion

A cheating husband needs to take his cell phone everywhere (Yes even to the bathroom with the door locked from the inside). This is just in case the other woman call or it’s for him to contact that other woman.

6. He eats less, or he has stomach upset

Not so smart cheater will have dinner with his secret lover and won’t have want to eat when he gets home.

7. You catch some lies – white lies, big lies..

You realize he’s been lying and getting better at covering them up. He avoids eye contact with you, and won’t participate in any discussion about infidelity. And when you push him to the edge ready to prove that he’s lying, he’ll get defensive or very angry. 

8. Emails – New email address, new passwords, no history

He is using the computer a lot. When you walk in the room he minimises all windows – or closes them altogether. When he finally gets off the computer nothing is left in the history. All temporary cookies are deleted too.

9. Obvious evidence

This can be perfume on his laundry items, lipstick on his collar or shirt, or even the fact that he wants to do his own laundry. Hair can also be evidence (Like…you see blonde hair in his car, and your hair is black)

On top of these signs of infidelity, you’ll find that a cheating husband will stare off into space a lot, talking much less and losing interest in you and the family

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

March 05, 2012

Erotic Trilogy “Fifty Shades” Storms Manhattan

  

by Linda Franklin

Erotica Trilogy - Fifty Shades A Cult Hit by Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman“Fifty Shades,” an erotica trilogy dubbed“mommy porn” by some, is rapidly becoming a cult hit among women in New York City, who are exchanging well-worn paperback copies and excited whispers about the book’s “red room of pain” (a sex playroom).

The BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism) novel is currently sitting in 28th place on the New York Times bestseller list and is topping Amazon and Barnes & Noble charts.

It’s like “Twilight” for the grown-up set. Except, with lots of sex instead of vampires and abstinence.

Close your eyes, flip to a random page, point to a line and you’re basically guaranteed to land on a graphic, adjective-laden sex scene (often involving multiple props).

One 40-year-old mother-of-three said that Fifty Shades is ‘just a fun escape from the daily mundane of trudging kids around and, you know, marriage’

Unlike the florid descriptions found in your typical drugstore-variety bodice ripper, the details in “Fifty Shades” are reserved for the sex acts themselves. 

The piece of erotic fiction is no convenient handbag read – its 1,200 pages, an armful in itself, is laden with steamy writing that makes it far from easy to read in public places. But that doesn’t stop the female fans – they are scooping up the Kindle edition.

Happy reading everyone!  Share it with your partner and see what happens.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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