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8 posts from December 2011

December 30, 2011

New Year Soul Satisfying Resolutions That Work

by Linda Franklin

New YearAren’t you tired of making New Years Resolutions that you never really intend to keep?   Aren’t you tired of going through the woulda-coulda-shoulda’s regret ritual?  Then stop torturing yourself and make 2012 the year you trade in your no results resolutions for ones that  actually allow you to soar.

Here’s the thing about most resolutions. When you don’t follow through with them you feel defeated and that’s not a good way to start out the New Year.  Feeling bad about yourself gets you stuck in bad energy and blocks off  good things from coming into your life. Of course, we don’t do it intentionally, but nevertheless, that’s what happens.

Ask yourself what would make you happy in 2012?  Be careful with your answer.  Dig deep and ask where your wish is coming from.  Is it from your surface ego or from the deep foundation of your soul?

From my experience I have found that satisfying my ego is a temporary fix, but satisfying the desires of my soul has a profound  and lasting result. The soul is a tough taskmaster and when it doesn’t get what it wants you always feel like something is missing.  No matter how much you achieve the good feeling drains away quickly leaving you feeling empty and unhappy. 

Here are 3 Soul Satisfying Resolutions that have worked for me:

1. Stop Trying to Mastermind Your Life  - When you give up the need to mastermind every twist and turn of your existence you can reach a deeper level – the place of feeling.  When you feel rather than think you are able to create a reality that moves you forward.  What a wonderful feeling to get unstuck!

2.  Trust Your Instincts -   You are on the right track despite the sense that life, as you know it, often seems to be derailed.  Often radical change is what is needed in the accelerated pace of the world we are living in. 

3. Recognize Your Potential - In this New Year gift yourself with the knowledge that you are unique and have unlimited potential. Give yourself permission to be who you are and do the things that feed your soul.

I know that if you practice these three steps 2012 will be the best year ever.  You can never control circumstances but you sure can manage how you respond to them.  That knowledge is life changing.

Happy New Year.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

December 27, 2011

Pregnancy After 45 – When Do You Hang Up The Baby Booties?

By Dr. Jennifer Landa

Michelle DuggarWith the recent miscarriage suffered by TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” star, Michelle Duggar, the risks of pregnancy after age 45 have stepped into the limelight. These days, many celebrities are having children at older ages and making it seem easy and the norm, but such a feat is not without significant risks.

The risk of miscarriage in general is high – one in seven pregnancies end in miscarriage, and with the ability to detect pregnancies at very early stages with at-home pregnancy tests, the true union of sperm and egg often ends in a miscarriage 60 to 70 percent of the time. After the age of 40, this risk increases to one in three pregnancies and by age 45 – one in two pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.

A number of factors contribute to this high-risk – the first being lower levels of progesterone. As a woman ages her hormone levels naturally decline.  Low progesterone makes the pregnancy at extreme risk for miscarriage because this hormone is responsible for supporting the embryo and growing fetus. Without adequate levels, that support to the fetus is non-existent and the pregnancy fails.

Genetic abnormalities, due to the eggs of an older female being…well, older – also contribute to the riskiness of the pregnancy. In an older egg, the risk of mistakes when the DNA is replicated skyrockets, putting the pregnancy or, ultimately, the baby at-risk. In this case, pregnancies that do make it term have a greater risk of producing a child with special needs.  This is something women should take into serious consideration when planning pregnancy after the age of 40.

Not only is pregnancy after age 45 risky for the baby, it can be a challenging situation for the mother-to-be as well. Gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia are significant disease risks.  Both threaten the health and future health of the mother and the fetus. Pre-eclampsia is the number two cause of maternal death in the United States, primarily affecting pregnant women under 20 or over 40 years of age.

In the case of Michelle Duggar, her age was not her only risk factor – women who have had several children are at an even greater risk of premature delivery and postpartum bleeding.  After multiple deliveries, the uterus loses its muscle tone.  These muscles are essential to slowing and stopping bleeding after delivery – excessive bleeding following delivery can also lead to emergency surgery, hysterectomy or even – death.

Pregnancy is always a blessing and many women might argue that it is worth every risk to bear their own child, however, if you carefully examine the risks – it is not just the health of the mother that is affected – the baby’s entire life could be altered.  If you are planning to or do become pregnant at an older age, generally after age 35, talk to your doctor to minimize risks associated with your pregnancy.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

December 21, 2011

Sex Isn't Meant To Be Synchronized

 by Linda Franklin 

Sex Isn't Mean To Be Orchestrated - Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanSex is wonderful and sex is complicated.  Getting two people to be on exactly the same page takes time and good communication.  What you think is pretty darned fantastic doesn’t necessarily translate to the other person.

Recently I talked with a woman who is concerned because her partner of four years has become obsessed with the idea of simultaneous orgasms. She feels every time they’re in bed, he is trying to synchronize their climax. Yikes, talk about pressure. This has gotten so bad, she’s even tried faking it to keep him happy, and we know that never works. 

Only in the movies does sex look perfect.  In real life it isn’t.  You never see any heroine say”, Hang on a minute, you may have popped your cork, but I haven’t — don’t you dare roll over and go to sleep!’ 

I talk to a lot of women and most say that simultaneous orgasms — while not quite as rare as unicorns — aren’t all that common (and often get less frequent with age). Only two have experienced the phenomenon with any frequency.

Most women will admit that in their 30′s it was easier to time their orgasms with their partners, but after having children is was almost impossible.  And, with some partners it was easier to coordinate peaks, but it didn’t always mean the sex was better.

Early in the dating process perhaps is was easier to experience simultaneous climaxes, but when that pattern didn’t continue the man thought he was doing something wrong. 

A word of advice for the guys.  Women hate when you stare down and ask how close we are.  It makes us tense and irritated.  To avoid that many women  fake orgasm to please you but it is really making them miserable.   

The biggest downside of fake orgasms is that men think they have pushed some kind of magic button when they haven’t. They then become perplexed when they try to repeat the process and nothing happens.

It’s clear you need to talk to your partner about sex outside the bedroom, when emotions aren’t running so high. The question is -  what has made him feel that synchronised climaxes are so vital? Perhaps they were a feature of a previous relationship and he’s come to believe that they’re vital for good sex?

No two women peak in the same way (some don’t have orgasms at all, so much as a pleasurable plateau of sensation) and he needs to understand that.

Rare is the man who has never watched pornography and many develop unrealistic expectations from scenes where trigger-happy porn stars climax on cue. Why? Because they’re faking it and the whole thing’s a fraud. Explain to your partner that you feel you’re being held up to some golden standard that doesn’t exist.

True erotic love is free and easy and doesn’t conform to any preconceived plan. There are no rules when it comes to good sex — we just need to release ourselves and enjoy the moment.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

December 19, 2011

Christmas Parties Can Be Dangerous

By Linda Franklin  

Office Christmas Parties Can Be Dangerous - Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanTis the season of office Christmas parties.  Don't have next day regrets because you had a little too much to drink and can't remember the things you might have done or said.

Yikes, did you tell your boss what you really think of him?  Did you kiss one of your colleagues a little too passionately under the mistletoe?  Or did you climb up on the table and do your version of a go-go dancer?

According to a survey by restaurant chain TGI Friday, more than a quarter of employees feared they would be unable to resist telling their boss exactly what they thought of them. Enjoy the Christmas spirit but, never forget,  that you are always on the radar of the people who count.   

So here's a list of Dos and Don'ts to ensure that, in the cold light of day, your colleagues will still view you as the smart and gracious woman that you are. In fact, you could actually accumulate some brownie points if you handle yourself in a way that sets you apart from the other gals.

The office party is actually a great opportunity to impress your bosses. Everyone is relaxed, and it's possible to speak to the most senior people in your company to whom you might not normally have access. 

DON'T

  • Corner your boss for hours
  • Keep the conversation focused on yourself
  • Use the party as an opportunity to discuss colleagues' failings or racy love lives
  • Pair up under the mistletoe while your boss is looking
  • Go from prim office worker to raging party animal
  • Post pictures on Facebook and Twitter while under the influence

DO

  • Keep the conversation interesting
  • Ask colleagues about family members
  • Steer clear of spreading rumors
  • Remember to be discreet
  • Drink lots of water - it dilutes the alcohol
  • Have a good time

A bit of over-indulgence is not the end of the world, but arrive at work the next day on time and ready to do your job.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,”there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible”. Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

December 15, 2011

Sexualization of Women in the Media

Sexualization of Women in Mens Magazines Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman

by Linda Franklin 

Descriptions of women used in men’s magazines are indistinguishable from views expressed by convicted rapists, researchers found in a new study.

When presented with quotes from both, some men actually found themselves identifying more with the views of the sex offender than those espoused by the magazines.

Psychologists say that the study highlights the danger of the sexualization of women in the media and called for moves to deal with the issue. 

Men between 18 and 46 were shown quotes about women from leading men’s magazines and also quotes given in interviews with convicted rapists. Participants were asked to rank the comments on how derogatory they were.

The results found the magazine descriptions more demeaning than those from the sex offenders, reports the British Psychological Society’s British Journal of Psychology.

Quotes from the sex offenders list included: ‘I think if a law is passed there should be a dress code. When girls dress in those short skirts and things like that they’re just asking for it.’ “Girls love being tied up, it gives them the chance to be the helpless victim.’ Then there’s this one “‘I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them”.

Dr Peter Hegarty, of the University of Surrey, added: ‘There is a fundamental concern that the content of these magazines normalizes the treatment of women as sexual objects. 

This problem is bad and getting worse.  How are teenage boys and young men supposed to be prepared for a fulfilling love and sex life when they normalize their views from what they read and what they see on porn sites?

Anna van Heeswijk, Campaigns Manager for OBJECT, a human rights campaign group which campaigns against the objectification of women, said: ‘This crucial and chilling piece of research lays bare the hateful messages which seep out of the magazines and indoctrinate young men’s attitudes towards women and girls. 

If we are serious, and we should be, about putting an end to discrimination and violence against women and girls, we must stand together and have a very strong voice.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,” there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest

December 12, 2011

Makeup Tips To Unleash Your Real Cougar

by Linda Franklin

Beauty Tips To Unleash Your Real Cougar by Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanYour makeup has to change as your face does.  We should not be using the same products and techniques at 50 that we did at 25.  Our skin has changed, so our beauty regime has to be revised too.

We've all seen the Baby Jane ladies who refuse to change with the times - don't be one of them.  Here are some tips that will allow you to show off your best features and camouflage what you don't want to see. 

Stay Away From Dark Lipstick - As we age, our lips thin. Super dark lipstick on skinny lips isn't attractive. Your best lipstick bet is the shade closest to your natural lip color or if you like color, rosy reds. Orange lipsticks are aging, but pinks are not. Instead of playing up your lips, concentrate on your eyes as your feature attraction.

A bit of lip gloss makes lips appear plumper. Dab a bit on cheeks to create a dewy glow.

More lipstick tips in How to Apply Lipstick: 16 Lipstick Tips & Tricks.

Eye Pencils Instead of Liquid Liners - Eye pencils are softer than liquid liners, which can be harsh on aging eyes. To soften the line even more, smudge it with your fingers. And don't line the inside of the eye if you have small eyes, it makes the eye appear smaller.

Find out more in How to Apply Eyeliner.

The Right Eyeshadows -  You should make your eyes the focal point of your face. This will detract attention from any fine lines or turkey wattles.

Enhance your eye color with eyeshadow shades that will make your eyes pop. For brown or hazel eyes, golds and browns are gorgeous. Blue eyes look great with blue-gray and lighter browns and dark eyes look fantastic with dark shades.

Find out more in Eyeshadow: How to Apply It, My Best Picks & More.

Less is More -  You don't want to pile on the foundation, the eyeliner and the heavy lipstick. Instead, you want to use highlighter pens, tinted moisturizers and a lighter touch with the shadow and lipstick. Oh, and you might want to get some bangs.

More makeup tips in How to Conceal Wrinkles on Your Face.

Concealing Sagging Skin - As we age, we may begin to notice a big change taking place under the chin. And I'm not talking about excessive growth of chin hairs. You may develop a turkey wattle or you might what you consider a double chin. Either way, you might want to conceal it.

You could see a plastic surgeon and have lipo under your chin or a facelift, but if you don't want to spend the cash or endure surgery, there are inexpensive ways to conceal sagging skin and a crepe-y neck.

Check out these tips and many more in Loose Skin? 4 Tips to Conceal Sagging Skin.

How to Conceal Droopy Eyelids Without Surgery - Drooping eyelids are another natural part of the aging process but there's no need to invest in eyelid surgery. You can spend thousands on an eyelift or you can try these beauty tips that cost nothing. Find out how in How to Conceal Droopy Eyelids Without Surgery.

Thinning or Bushy Eyebrows -  Keeping your brows done nicely is like having a facelift without surgery, according to author Charla Krupp's brow guy. Here are some tips for perfect brows:

  • Get your brows professionally done. Nothing opens eyes up like curled lashes and neat brows. If you can't afford waxing or threading every few weeks, use the professional's job as a map for your own tweezing. Simply pluck the stray hairs that grow in between professional tweezing or waxing. How to pluck your own brows.
  • Drawn-in brows are a no-no. You know the pencil-thin line you see some of your friends or women in your town wear? Well, they only age you and they're somewhat tacky. Learn how to properly fill in sparse brows.
  • Avoid tweezing gray brow hairs. Instead, conceal them with a brow powder or pencil.

Thinning Lips - As we age, our lips lose some of their fat. Here's how to plump up thin lips.

  • Picking the right lip color is a must. Makeup artist Bobbi Brown suggests skipping the bright colors and opt for a color that's just a shade or 2 darker than your natural lip color. Check out 16 Lipstick Tricks and Tips.
  • As you age, your natural lip line fades. Create a lip line by coloring in lips first with a lip liner, then apply gloss or lipstick over the liner.
  • Consider getting rid of lipstick and using lip gloss instead. Gloss creates the illusion of puffed-up lips, especially when applied to the middle of lips.
  • Lip plumpers do work, but the effects don't last long (we're talking under an hour). So skip the plumpers and save your money. Even Vaseline on lips will make them appear larger.
  • Check out Cynthia Rowland's Luscious Lips.

Let me know if you have any great tips to share with out fabulous females.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,” there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

December 09, 2011

Occupy Wall Street Protestor Now Working On Wall Street

 by Linda Franklin

Wall Street Protestor Now Working on Wall St.  Linda Franklin The Real Cougar Woman

 

Unlike many protesters who were not very clear in their demands, Tracy Postert went down to Zuccotti Square during the Occupy Wall Street protests with a specific goal in mind: to get a job.

In a serendipitous turn of events, she landed one, but in one of the very banks she had gone to protest against.

The biomedical scientist, who has her Ph.D. specializing in pharmacology, had been unemployed for quite some time so she decided to be creative with her job seeking process. 

Occupy a job: Tracy Postert went down to Zuccotti Park looking for a job and she landed one, in an office just down the street on Wall Street/

After spending 10 days protesting with anti-capitalist signs like everyone else, Ms Postert showed up on October 22 in a medical jacket holding a sign stating her intentions.

Her sign said ‘Ph.D Biomedical scientist seeking full time employment’ on the front and ‘Ask me for my resume’ on the back. Lucky for her, one passer-by did.

Now, over a month later, she is working in an office on Wall Street – in one of the companies that she was protesting against not long ago. 

Wayne Kaufman, chief marketing analyst from John Thomas Financial Brokerage, took her resume and promptly invited her for an interview.

‘I had been unemployed for so long, I thought why not?’ Ms Postert told The New York Post. 

At first, Ms Postert was hesitant to accept the position as a junior analyst specializing in the viability of medical companies as investments. Given her political sympathies and involvement in the Occupy Wall Street protests, it seemed like a hypocritical move.

But, considering she is in her 30s and has spent many months to no avail looking for a job in the academic arena – which would be her first choice – she decided that practicality had to trump political posturing. 

Now, Ms Postert arrives to her desk in the Wall Street office by 8am every morning as she studies to take her financial analyst exams.

For Ms Postert, the job means that she has a steady pay check. For the company, they have one convert to the cause.

Good move!!  Wonder how many other protestors would jump at the chance for gainful employment? 

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,” there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

December 03, 2011

Sexual Harassment Is Never Ok

Sexual Harassment is Never OK Linda Franklin The Real Cougar WomanThis is a mind blower. According to a new study, employees who are at higher risk of sexual harassment are getting paid higher salaries. salaries. The pay-off for putting up with possible harassment was an extra 50 cents an hour for men and an additional 25 cents for women.  Really – that much!!

The report published in the American Economic Review, highlights one female mining engineer who preferred to put up with the inappropriate behaviour of male colleagues than take a lower paid job where she would have been treated with more respect.

Companies have traditionally shelled out more to employees who were at risk of being injured or killed.  Now, it’s for sexual harassment.

The economy is not helping this horrible situation I suppose.  With employment over 9 per cent for the last four years, people will endure almost anything to bring home a paycheck..

The study used claims filed with the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission to compare the risks of sexual harassment by sex, age group and industry.

I didn’t have to tell you this but they  found that women were six times more likely to be harassed than their male counterparts. And, the worst offenders were industries that are male dominated. 

I worked on Wall Street, which is totally male dominated, for over 20 years, and didn’t experience sexual harassment. I think it’s because  I let the guys know I had boundaries that could not be crossed.  Working with all men is challenging.  To earn their respect, I had to be good at my job, take criticism well, be supportive, a good listener and always maintain my femininity.  Having accomplished all those things, they knew not to cross the line I had drawn in the sand.

Women should never have to put up with any kind of harassment or discrimination in the workplace.  But, having said that, we are responsible for how we act and learn not to go looking for trouble.

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality. Linda Franklin says,” there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system and a dream.  All things are possible”.  Linda’s book, Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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