Erotic Capital Is A Learned Skill

by Linda Franklin - The Real Cougar Woman

Take a look around your friends and colleagues. Chances are the ones you consider most attractive possess not only beauty, but intelligence, charm and that special je ne sais quoi. People fall over themselves to help them.

It may not be fair, but it’s definitely a big plus to have been born good-looking.  The good news, however, is that attractiveness can be learned; it’s a skill like any other that requires some effort.

At the heart of true attractiveness is what Catherine Hakem calls "erotic capital". In her new book  The Power Of Erotic Capital  she says, "It’s an asset that’s been ignored in the stampede to analize people’s economic capital (what you earn and possess), social capital (who you know) and human capital (what you know)".

Erotic capital is a blend of beauty, sex appeal, liveliness, charm, social skills, sexual competence and talent for dressing well. In other words, it’s a crucial mixture of physical and social attractiveness.

Think of someone like Madonna. She’s not the most conventionally beautiful woman,  but she has transformed herself into probably one of the most famous woman in the world, certainly one of the most compelling and successful.

It’s true that the naturally beautiful are more likely to have erotic capital because they get a head start in the cradle. As babies and small children, they’re treated more warmly. Even professional nannies perceive six-month-old babies differently according to how attractive they are. And among their peers, good-looking children are often the most popular.

All this positive attention has lasting effects on the personalities of children, speeding up their intellectual and social development.

Does this mean all average-looking women should immediately start saving up for cosmetic surgery? After all, at least one psychotherapist suggests that reshaping the features of unattractive people may be more likely to make them feel better than years of therapy. 

But there is no need to consider going to extremes. The French, for instance, have always recognized that a woman can make herself extremely attractive by the way she presents herself.  And anyone can learn social etiquette, good manners, color.  Try to smile more often — when you smile the world smiles back.

Some feminists argue that it should be against the law for employers to judge a woman by her appearance.. So it’s not surprising that many young women regard feminism as irrelevant. The steady growth in sales of cosmetics, fashions and cosmetic surgery suggests that rising affluence and everyday reality are more influential than any feminist rhetoric.  I guess they will have to learn by life experience that true beauty comes from the inside.

Consciously or unconsciously, everyone’s affected by looks. That’s why possessing erotic capital gives you an average earnings mark-up of 15 to 20 per cent, according to experts. It also makes it more likely that you’ll land the job in the first place.

It does not, by the way, mean women should immediately start baring their cleavage at work.Your erotic capital includes your skill at presenting yourself — and that includes adopting dress styles that are appropriate for the venue or occasion.

The great thing about erotic capital is that anyone can develop it.   Do you agree?