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July 25, 2011

Real Cougar Women Wondering If They Need A Man To Be Happy

By Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

Wonder_woman_deluxe A Real Cougar Woman works to keep her life in balance. She juggles kids, work, friendships, social obligations, finances, and staying beautiful, healthy and fit.  She is really a Wonder Woman but does she have time to search for THAT great man? 

Life after an unhappy marriage may teach women to raise the bar on the next guy they meet.Many women I have taked to say, men are no longer on their radar. 

Often what happens with smart, savvy, self actualized women is they wind up knit picking each man they meet to the point where they stop looking for or exploring a relationship altogether. Convinced there are no "right" men out there, more and more time is spent at the gym, engaging in a hobby, meeting the girls for happy hour, reading the latest best seller's list offering. More time sans men. 

Giving up is not so hard to do when one finds fulfillment and serenity in other places. Some of my girlfriends tell me they are happier without a man in their lives. For the first time, they feel their light can really shine and they are not diminished by someone else's demanding personality, overwhelming needs or schedule.
Their primary and most important connections are with other women who "get it" and are supportive and nurturing toward each other. Their nurturing relationship with themselves has replaced their desire to nurture, fix or placate a man. Many have a "take it or leave it attitude." If a really great guy comes along, so be it; but they are not proactively searching for one.
Life is such an interesting journey. I liken it to a movie script where we write, produce and direct it ourselves. At any point in time, we can do a complete rewrite. That's the beauty of being a Real Cougar woman. We get to make that decision for ourselves, for our own happiness.
In what ways have your relationship priorities changed over the years? What does, or would, your personal movie script look like? What are your relationship goals and do they include a man? Must they include a man in order for you to be happy?

The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond who knows the importance of taking care of her health, beauty, relationships, finances and spirituality.  Linda Franklin says,"there is no stopping a woman who has a strong belief system, passion and a dream. All things are possible". Linda's book, Don't Ever Call Me Ma'am helps women of all ages tap into their power and live life to the fullest.

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Comments

Right on target Dr. Fayr

GREAT article by Dr. Barkley, and seems to be true with many of the women that I know today. Women are coming together to support, defend and nurture one another like sisters. They then feel safe, and the reassurance builds their self esteem. Therefore, they feel fulfilled and don't feel so panicky about being alone or having to have a man in their lives. But, if the right man should come along and accept them for who they are without disturbing their contentment and serenity, then perhaps they will allow him to share in her life.

I love Dr Barkley's observation, and I quote, "Life is such an interesting journey. I liken it to a movie script where we write, produce and direct it ourselves. At any point in time, we can do a complete rewrite. That's the beauty of being a Real Cougar woman. We get to make that decision for ourselves, for our own happiness." It gives us a new perspective on how we can actually "rewrite" our own life "scripts" "at any point in time", and "direct" our own lives to be what we want them be, at any time we desire.

Bravo!

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