The Real Cougar Woman

Sexual Desire & Menopause - Shifting From Neutral Back Into Full Speed Ahead

The boomers lit the fuse for the sexual revolution, but for many slamming into menopause, sex is the last thing on their minds! Approximately 47 percent of women experience sexual difficulties, according to the National Health and Social Life Survey and the Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors, with a decrease of sexual desire being the most common.

Other things that contribute to a declining libido are pain during intercourse, relationship dissatisfaction, lack of sexual thoughts and aversion to sexual activity.

Addressing the physical, emotional, and environmental changes that often accompany mid-life, can make a proper diagnosis challenging. Are any these factors affecting your sexual health?

• Emotional: Feeling unattractive, depressed, tired, sleep deprived, moody, isolated
• Fluctuating hormones
• Medications:
  • Antidepressants
  • Mood stabilizers
  • Contraceptive drugs
  • Antihistamines
  • Sedatives
  • Antihypertensives
  • Blood pressure medications

Cougars, Money & Men

Cougar women know this. One of the most difficult conversations they can have with a significant other is not about love or commitment - it's about money.  How they save it, invest it and respect it. Recently I was interviewed for a story in the New York Times that focused on “money talk” for couples.  I received so much great feedback on the story that I felt compelled to address it here.

Almost every time I talk to women about their money I get lots of questions that sound something like this:  How do I start a conversation with my husband about money?  How do I ask my partner to see our finances without having him feel like I don’t trust him?  How do I get my questions answered without ending up in a huge fight? 

Three words here…. communicate, communicate, communicate.  I know you hear that all the time and know it's not that simple, especially when it comes to money.  You’d be surprised (or perhaps you wouldn’t be) by how many people don’t even know how much their spouse is making.  Generally, the problem is due to the highly emotional feelings (self worth, self esteem, power, control etc) and unresolved issues with money each partner brings to the table.

Plastic Surgery Where The Before Looks Better Than The After

What if you make the decision to have plastic surgery and the before looks better than the after?  That happens more times than you can imagine and it happened to Laura. Here's what she said - "I wasn’t going to leave a suicide note. People would know why I’d killed myself. One look at my face said it all — I’d made myself look ­hideously ugly. My face was lopsided, my nose was too skinny, my lips were ­distorted and my chin was crooked".

Laura is typical of many patients who are left profoundly depressed by their appearance ­after undergoing facial plastic surgery. 

Underlying psychological disorders may trigger the desire for change but doctors are hard pressed to know if  every man or woman who makes an appointment for a surgical procedure is ready to accept the results.

Disappointing results plague over 30% of facial plastic surgery patients and that may be the upshot of unrealistic expectations. If you elect to have a streamlined nose, enhanced bosom or a face lift, the end result just might be too much when you see your new self.

Cougar Women, Aging and Telomeres

Cougar Women do whatever they can to make sure they grow older with grace, vitality and of course sexual energy.  Get a group of women together and the conversation always gets around to how to look and feel years younger than our chronological age. Oprah does many of her shows on this fascinating topic and often asks Dr Mehmet Oz to fill us in on the latest and greatest medical breakthroughs. On one of those shows Dr. Oz was talking about telomeres and how they hold dramatic new information about aging.

One of my favorite doctors here in New York City is Dr. Joseph Raffaele. Dr. Raffaele is a member of the American College of Physicians, is board certified in internal medicine, and is a diplomat of the American Board of Anti-Aging Medicine. In 1995 Dr. Raffaele began researching and developing a scientifically-based treatment program and co-founded PhysioAge Medical Group. Since 1997 Dr. Raffaele has been exclusively focused on anti-aging medicine and bioidentical hormone replacement.

Dr. Raffaele convinced me to take a test to check the length of my telomeres. It was done with a simple blood test. He is very passionate about the research being done and recently wrote an article which gives us a greater insight to why they are so important. Here are some excerpts from his article.

A telomere is like a protective cap for the ends of chromosomes, which carry the genetic material of cells. Picture two shoelaces, one with a plastic tip and the other without.  Just as that tip keeps the threads of a shoelace from fraying, telomeres keep our chromosomes intact and functioning—healthy enough to allow them to reproduce cells. When you can’t reproduce cells, you become old and frail.

Cougar Momentum Driven By Young Men

I was recently interviewed by Time Magazine. They wanted to do a story about Cougar women and focus on the Cubs' desire to date them. The reporter was surprised when I told him the younger men are actually the ones driving this dating dynamic.

 The Time interview was a great opportunity to present my doctoral research and I took it.  For over twenty years I have been compiling data on the younger man/older woman bond. Here in a nutshell is the reason younger men are driving this dynamic.

   

The truth of the matter is, there are far more younger men looking to meet older women than there are older available women available to meet the need. The women love these odds because it means they can be selective and find just what they are looking for. They don’t have to “settle”. 

 

It was the younger men who also coined such vernacular as “Cougar”, “preying”, “Cougar den”, “pouncing”, “kitten”, “puma”, and other Cougar related terms. Men write to me daily asking how to approach a mature woman, what we like, how to talk to us, how to relate to us. They make it clear that they are proactive in going to venues where they can meet an older woman. I am in contact with thousands of men around the world who desire to meet mature women.

Sex-Starved or Skinny? What Women Choose

Hmmm here's a question for you.  What would you prefer?  Lots of hot sex or being skinny?  I know what I would choose how about you? A new survey found that over half of the women surveyed would choose the body of their dreams over a year of love-making.  The remainder of the 2,400 women polled by Fitness magazine said that they would rather have great sex and be 30lb overweight.

It's a choice none of us would like to make. But 51 per cent of women have admitted they would sacrifice a year of sex if it meant they could be thin. 

Forty-three per cent admitted to skipping meals regularly in a bid to stay slim, and 39 per cent have used crash diets to drop pounds quickly. The research also revealed that 30 per cent had tried - but would never repeat - a celebrity-endorsed regime, such as the baby food diet, said to be a favourite with Jennifer Aniston, or Gwyneth Paltrow's juice cleanse detox. Readers said that the extreme diets left them feeling too hungry to continue.  When are women going to learn that dieting doesn't work?  It's all about healthy eating & exercise. 

Cougar Tips For Varicose Veins

Cougar women love to show off their beautiful legs.  But, if you are part of the 20 percent of adult women affected by varicose veins, you most likely prefer to keep them under wraps. For many of you varicose veins and spider veins — a common, mild variation of varicose veins — are simply a cosmetic concern. For other women, varicose veins can cause aching pain and discomfort.

Varicose veins are caused by a variety of conditions, including dietary deficiency, heavy lifting, hormonal changes due to pregnancy or aging, having a job that requires prolonged sitting or standing, lack of exercise, obesity, genetics - even tight clothing.

There are many treatments available, and it's wise to discuss all of your options with your doctor.  Here are a few of my tips that might be of  help you.

Real Cougar Mom Daily Marathon

I feel the best way for you to get to know me is to join me in my daily marathon. Get ready, as you may become exhausted just by reading about my life. 

The day typically starts with getting up at the crack of dawn, and pulling myself and my two teenagers together.  Then there is a two to three hour commute from the Jersey Shore to downtown Manhattan where I work in Radio Advertising Sales at WOR 710.  After I arrive there are countless meetings, proposals, copywriting and phone calls to get through.

The second part of my day is all about racing out of  NYC hoping to make it to back to the Jersey Shore by 8pm so I can pick up my 13-year-old daughter from acting class. On the way home there is always some school supply or a quick run to the grocery store, dry cleaner or deli. Then we grab some dinner and recap our day. I then go drag my 15-year old son away from his laptop or video game and have a little one-on-one time.

People always ask, "how do you do it?" my response is simply, if I thought about it I could never do it...I just take it day by day and do the best I can...it all seems to work out. 

Cougar Woman's 6 Secrets For Making Her Man Feel Needed

I don't have to tell you that Real Cougar Women are uber independent.  There isn't much we can't figure out on our own, but at the same time, we know how to make the man in our life feel needed.  On this Valentine's Day here are 6 secrets for balancing your relationship and keeping him feeling loved and appreciated.

1. Show him you’re partners. There’s a big difference between showing your  man you need him (which he craves) and being needy (which terrifies him). A good partner wants to make you happy, to comfort you when you’re having a bad day, and to support you along your journey.

2. Ask his opinion.  Guys love to feel that their opinion is valued (who doesn’t, really?) So if you’re angling for a promotion at work or wondering how to deal with a difficult boss, ask your guy for his thoughts. Keep in mind that men are a solution-oriented sex, so be prepared for him to suggest an action plan.

Orgasm - The Movie - Does Female Sexual Dysfunction Really Exist

In the shocking and hilarious documentary ORGASM INC., filmmaker Liz Canner takes a job editing erotic videos for a drug trial for a pharmaceutical company. Her employer is developing what they hope will be the first Viagra drug for women that wins FDA approval to treat a new disease: Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD).

Liz gains permission to film the company for her own documentary. Initially, she plans to create a movie about science and pleasure but she soon begins to suspect that her employer, along with a cadre of other medical companies, might be trying to take advantage of women (and potentially endanger their health) in pursuit of billion dollar profits

ORGASM INC. is a powerful look inside the medical industry and the marketing campaigns that are literally and figuratively reshaping our everyday lives around health, illness, desire — and that ultimate moment: orgasm.

Female sexuality is a hot topic but one that is shunned by most media outlets