Real Cougars Choose To Be Single

The women in my Real Cougar community are often asked why they choose to be single. Of course every woman is unique so the reasons vary.  But, I would have to say the reason I hear the most is "because I choose to be." 

I received this email from one of the members in The Real Cougar Woman Club.  She explained to me why at this stage in her life she is choosing to be single.  Here's her story in her own words.    

Being a single parent raising two kids on my own with no help has been tough.  Now that my kids are grown and are away for the summer I’ve been forced to deal with the issues that I have been running from or covering up for so long.

I believe that we all make choices in life.  I happened to always choose the wrong type of men.  They guys were physically attractive on the outside, but with no substance on the inside.  They were just empty, hollow and emotionally unavailable.

After giving my choices some very serious thought, I came to realize that I was drawn to the wrong type of men because I had a father who was never there for me.  I felt invisible.  When I got older I used men in an attempt to validate myself.  Of course that was impossible because I hadn't  yet learned how to validate myself.

Now that I’m older and wiser I know I deserve better and won’t settle for less than God's best.  I’ve come to realize that I really don’t need a man to make me feel good about myself.  Why would I?  I am an independent, strong, attractive woman in the prime of her life.  I am a Real Cougar.

I could have a man in my life now  but I am choosing not to.  I just turned 44 years old and Idon’t want to waste my valuable time on the wrong things or on the wrong people. 

 

Will be there room for a man in my life someday?  Yes, but on my terms.  It's very important  that I have people who celebrate who I am.  I am done with people who try and bring me down to their level or diminish the woman I was created to be.

 

Ladies, life too short to waste on the wrong person.

The women in my Real Cougar community are often asked why they choose to be single. Of course every woman is unique so the reasons vary.  But, I would have to say the reason I hear the most is "because I choose to be." 

I received this email from one of the members in The Real Cougar Woman Club.  She explained to me why at this stage in her life she is choosing to be single.  Here's her story in her own words.    

Being a single parent raising two kids on my own with no help has been tough.  Now that my kids are grown and are away for the summer I’ve been forced to deal with the issues that I have been running from or covering up for so long.

I believe that we all make choices in life.  I happened to always choose the wrong type of men.  They guys were physically attractive on the outside, but with no substance on the inside.  They were just empty, hollow and emotionally unavailable.

After giving my choices some very serious thought, I came to realize that I was drawn to the wrong type of men because I had a father who was never there for me.  I felt invisible.  When I got older I used men in an attempt to validate myself.  Of course that was impossible because I hadn't  yet learned how to validate myself.

Now that I’m older and wiser I know I deserve better and won’t settle for less than God's best.  I’ve come to realize that I really don’t need a man to make me feel good about myself.  Why would I?  I am an independent, strong, attractive woman in the prime of her life.  I am a Real Cougar.

I could have a man in my life now  but I am choosing not to.  I just turned 44 years old and Idon’t want to waste my valuable time on the wrong things or on the wrong people. 

 

Will be there room for a man in my life someday?  Yes, but on my terms.  It's very important  that I have people who celebrate who I am.  I am done with people who try and bring me down to their level or diminish the woman I was created to be.

 

Ladies, life too short to waste on the wrong person.

Comments

[Ab]

LOVE the email! Love, love, LOVE wanting to be with people "who celebrate who I am. I am done with people who try and bring me down to their level or diminish the woman I was created to be"

Love it!! Well said!

[Kathleen]

Brava, fellow reader!

I have followed a somewhat similar path. Divorced from husband #1, with whom I had 2 children. Remarried (out of love, but also out of fear and a feeling I needed help) and divorced again. That was a decade ago and I have remained single.

I've come to realize that people come into our lives for a reason--sometimes just to help us learn more about ourselves. Sounds like you've learned a lot about yourself! The person you are uncovering will be better able to choose a healthy relationship, one that's more fulfilling and rewarding next time around--whether you become married or not.

I've learned that I enjoy sharing moments with a partner. A walk in the park, a morning cup of coffee, a trip to the beach, cuddling on the couch and watching a DVD or a ballgame. I have that now--even though we do not live together. It's lovely!

You deserve a man who adores you, who has patience with you, who respects you and who cares about your feelings and thoughts. And, you, likewise, will feel freer to give of yourself without worrying about being taken advantage of.