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July 01, 2009

Sex Starved Wives - Don't Get No Satisfaction

Sex Starved Wives are slowly emerging from the closet.  In the past they have been ashamed to admit they want more sex from their husbands, but not anymore.   Cougar couple

Sex therapist Bettina Arndt, who is the author of The Sex Diaries, said four out of 10 sexually frustrated women she has worked with had ended their relationships because of problems in the bedroom. Sydney psychologist and sex therapist Serena Cauchi said she had also noticed this new trend.

"It is not as uncommon as you would think. Women may react just as men may do in this situation; some have affairs and some choose to end the relationship."

One 42 year old woman confessed she had been sexually frustrated for at least 7 of the 14 years she had been married.  Her self esteem had "taken a battering" because of the constant rejection from her husband. "Having a husband who is hardly interested in having sex with me has made me feel like it's my fault." 

Being a sex starved wife isn't easy especially when you hear your friends complaining about husbands who want sex all the time.

Arndt said more research needed to be done but that proves to be difficult.  Men men aren't willing to talk about the fact that their sex drive has slipped into low gear. 


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Hadn't had sex with my husband since our wedding night that was 45 years ago. After we were married husband wanted nothing to do with me. He cancelled our honey moon and instead moved all his things down to the basement where he has been couped up all these years. Also that same day he started working nights and has for 40 years till he retired. I always thought guys wanted sex all the time but not my husband, I guess once for him was to much. He's not gay or into porn, has no phone,computer, tv he just doesn't want to be bothered with anything. He has no friends and just a loner. The past month he wouldn't even take me to the hospital for an operation. Neighbor lady took me and picked me up again. I've had a terrible,lonely, unloved, unwanted, confused life. I only hang around for the pension and benefits.

I haven't had sex with my husband in over 3 years. He is just not interested in sex with me or anyone else for that matter. I feel rejected and lonely. We don't touch much or kiss. I want some passion and am tempted to stray or end the marriage. Sadly, I do love my husband. He is a good provider and good father too. He doesn't spend alot of time with me but he is respectful to me when he is around. I feel like crying alot of the time. Years ago I'd tell him how I felt but after a year of feeling like I was talking to myself I gave up. I feel we live separate lives now. We used to be in love. Now I love him and care about him, butI am not in love with him anymore. I stay in the marriage because of our children and because I really don't want to hurt my husband. I am fairly sure that I would give my affection to another man who gave me some of the physical touch that I so desire. It is a very sad situation.

As a sex starved husband (five years with no sex and no sign of my wife ever caring about sex), I can say it drives me nuts to hear of those that want sex being matched to those that don't want sex. The sex refuser thinks there is absolutely nothing wrong with a sexless marriage, and that we who want sex are perverts of some kind.

I feel this is why many women stray from their marriages. Due to lack of intimacy with their spouses and the longer they are in these relationships (Marriage) the harder it seems, the harder it is for them to communicate and talk about their wants and needs.Men tend to be selfish and uncaring about their spouses desires.

I'm not saying that this applys to all long term or even short term committed relationships, but it doe's happen in a lot of them.

I experienced this in my marriage and it brought a lot of resentment to our marriage.

It is just something to think about.

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