I have gotten so many emails in response to my appearance on the Today Show and I would like to share just a few of them with you. As you would imagine there were huge differences of opinion. Some women were very supportive, some thought being a Real Cougar is just plain selfish, and some men still think all cougars are cheap, easy and desperate.
But, before I go on, I've got to tell you that being on the Today Show was a blast. Everyone connected with the program couldn't have been nicer. They really went out of their way to make me and everyone else feel really special. The producers work a zillion hours just to make a 6 minute segment look so good on air. The regular host, Hoda Kotb and guest host Kathy Lee Gifford seemed like they were having a lot of fun exploring the cougar phenomena.
Okay, now for the feedback. I got several emails from married women who after watching the show realized they are Real Cougars. They didn't understand before it's not about your marital status - it's about your attitude towards life. Some of these women are working mothers in their mid 40's but feel like they have got it going on. To show their support, many of joined the The High-Yield Living Real Cougar Club. Check it out.
I got another comment from a woman who said what are you supposed to do if your husband gets ill? Do you simple forget about him and go out looking for a young stud? Of course, you don't. Real Cougars are loving and caring but do whatever it takes to maintain their enthusiasm for life. This lady believes that when you get older you just pack it in and give it up to the next generation. She sounded beaten down by life.
Then I heard from a woman who is 67 who's' living with a man 22 years younger. She is thinking about retiring but is worried because her boyfriend isn't working. Her question was - is the age difference too much? It's not about the age difference its about being a Sugar Momma for a man who isn't pulling his weight. I told her to tell him there are no free lunches and either pull his weight or this gravy train is coming to a screaching halt. A Real Cougar is strong an confident and isn't afraid to make tough decisions.
The last email I will tell you about is from a 42 year old man living in California.Here's what he had to say.
"Your laughable story about "cougars" is sadly off the mark. You just don't seem to understand men at all. A successful man his 30's, 40's, 50's or even older is simply not physically attracted to these older woman. When a man has money, power, and or fame, he will usually be attracted to young and physically attractive women. These so called cougars are just deluding themselves by thinking
they are in control and are rewarding themselves by having younger men. Also, when you say some of these cougars are "financially well off," I wonder how many of them got that way via divorce...No doubt quite a few of them were left with a pile of money when their husband's decided it's worth the cost to rid themselves of these old and unattractive women."
It goes on but you get the gist of this thinking. Of course, I shot a email back to him right away. He backed down a little saying" maybe my viewpoint is skewed since I'm in Manhattan Beach, CA. Indeed there is a very obvious double standard with regards to men and women and how they age.
In any case, I will keep beating the drum for women over 45 to have a strong, positive identity. Really, the only thing that counts is for you to feel good about yourself and know the best is yet to come.
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